A very clever man I know once told me about how he was thinking about writing a book for people who wanted to learn how to move cattle. He said that he kept trying to simplify it and simplify it, just to make it easier to understand. In the end, he told me, he summed it all up in just a few words, "They're female."
Now you're probably wondering what this has to do with Tango, the Redneck, but I'm getting around to it. Today we went for a ride, it's been a while since we have, but I saddle him up despite the hot weather and we headed out. Travelling across the hayfield we let ourselves into the back forty. Deciding that today would be a good day for something new we went the opposite direction than we usually do. Tango was a good sport when I urged him to go through the mud, with me on top crossing my fingers and praying that I wouldn't be inspiration for another Corb Lund song, this one titled "The Horse Got Stuck".
Surviving the mud we continued on around the hill and followed the cow trail. I was amazed at how steep the hill was but Tango was to distracted to notice, he was on a mission. We must have been downwind of some interestingly scented object because he set off at a very fast walk. Cresting a small ridge I spotted what had intrigued his nose, there were cows grazing in the river flat. Now there is only one thing Tango loves more than oats, I would like to say it's me but sadly no, it's cows.
The fence came to a corner, with the cows on the other side, we would have to go through a couple gates to get to them. No matter how much I wanted to go see who's cows they were and no matter how badly Tango was chomping at the bit to go play with his new bovine buddies I decided it wasn't worth the trouble. I turned him to walk up the hill along the fence but he turned back as soon as I wasn't paying full attention to what he was doing.
Finally after a few minutes and a lot of determination on my part we made it to the top of the hill and I stopped dead in my tracks (well I guess Tango's tracks). The hill on the other side fell away to a creek at the bottom. This part of the creek contained a beaver dam so it go really wide. Not thinking very clearly I decided to go investigate the water's edge.
Well we got down there and found there was no way across and because Jessica was in a particular good mood she gave Tango his head when he decided he was gonna go "THAT WAY!!" (you can't see but I am pointing in a general direction, although it's not really relevant because that wasn't even really the direction we were going in at the time, but I digress). So he went that way, following a cattle trail throught the gorgeous bushes, just starting to turn color with the cold. He went this way and that, weaving back and forth back up the hill. For a while it was okay, the bushes were ankle height or shorter but then we started getting into where there were trees.
Now I couldn't tell if he was doing it on purpose but he was going under trees with low hanging branches or brushing up against them so that I had to ride with one leg lifted up behind me if I wanted to keep the skin on my knees. I don't even think Tango knew where we were going, but he seemed determined to go where he wanted to go. Finally we came out on a slightly wider trail and I could breath again. I thought Tango would be content to follow the trail for a while but nope, he saw another cow trail and was going towards it with unnerving determination.
If any of you know me, you'll know that I ain't no pushover so that's where I drew the line. I said "No Tango we are staying on the wide, open trail. It's safer, even if it isn't the most direct route."
So he might of been right, that clever man, about cattle and they're female, and I admit we can be a little bit absentminded and exasperating but men aren't all that much better with their tendency to be difficult and determined to make the most direct approach, even if it's the most dangerous. If I have to sum up riding in two words, as he did so perfectly for working cattle, I would simply say that although the majority are gelded THEY'RE MALE!
Unless you ride a mare, then you don't have to worry. Just have to watch out for the moodswings... right Autumn?
Wednesday, September 28, 2011
Friday, September 2, 2011
Funny Summer Stories in a Nutshell (not a real nutshell though)
So this summer contained a great many funny moments that I don't believe I could completely recap if I tried but I'll do a few.
Okay so Week One of Camp- "Denny's Dilemma"
Wind can cause a great many problems for horsemen, especially if they have to work with spooky horses. On of our horses at camp, Denny, was the biggest sweetheart ever. However he could be a wee bit nervous sometimes. One incident we had was the first day of camp we were, I think, saddling horses and Denny was tied to the hitching post (which is now out of order). There was a saddle blanket thrown over it next to him and he was just standing there being the big gentle giant that he always is until a gust of wind blew the saddle blanket off the rail.
The horse went back in fright, pulled on the rope, the rope tightened, Autumn and Jessica calmed him down, and then the difficulty came. He had tightened the knot on the lead rope so tight we couldn't get it off. I pulled on it for a while but I wasn't strong enough to get it undone (I know right? Jessica not strong enough? That's not something you hear everyday). So Autumn gave it a try and tried hanging off of it. She was swinging back and forth on the rope and the knot still wouldn't give (like I thought slip knots were specially designed to come undone easily).
Finally we pulled out the big guns, Jessica would give it a try, and I do believe my exact words were this, "Here Autumn, lemme give it a try, I've got a good thirty pounds on you I'll get it done (or undone) in no time." So there I was, all 155 pounds (of pure muscle I should add:), swinging back and forth on this rope trying to get it to give. With a giggle I quipped, "Look this is when Mr Hawk (our supervisor) drives up." No more than three seconds later he pulls up in his car.
I had just enough time to look back at him when the knot gave out and I went heels over head backwards down the hill. And that's what I call IRONY!
"Shanghai Noon Style"
Now I don't know if any of you guys have seen the movie Shanghai Noon with Jackie Chan and Owen Wilson but there is this one scene where they run and jump on their horses from the back. Well I've been determined for a very long time that I am going to know how to do that some day, and at camp we just happened to have some spare time out at the horses and it seemed to me to be the best time to practice.
I decided it'd be safer for me to just leave Tango untied so I threw the lead rope over his neck and told him to stay (he tried to follow me a few times so I had to get him to stand still). I wasn't really worried about him freaking out or anything, he's pretty bombproof, but you know, a person vaulting themselves onto a horses back could be pretty scary for a horse.
I knew right off the bat that I wouldn't have the vertical to jump high enough to get onto his butt so I got a mounting block and placed it behind him. I patted him on the butt before standing about five feet behind him. Taking a running start I launched myself off the mounting block, bracing my hands on his butt. However for somebody who grew up with athletic sisters I don't have much of a vertical so I didn't get high enough and it didn't help that my horse shot forward. Tango took a couple quick steps forward in surprise and then stopped to look back at me where I was doubled over laughing. He turned his big brown eye to me and lifted his expressive eyebrow as if to ask, "What the heck was that?"
Mr Hawk and Autumn sure got a good laugh but I'm pretty sure as we were all laughing about the episode Tango was thinking, "the least she could have done if she was gonna do something stupid like that was do it right!"
"Either Stubborn or Crazy" - Week Four of Camp.
My philosophy on working with horses? Always complete the job the way you started it. If you decided to only let your horse walk that day, let him do only that, no changing your mind. Which means that if I set out to catch my horse without using oats, I'm gonna do it without oats! This philosophy does mean you have to be stubborn, and when I mean stubborn I mean more stubborn than a mule.
One day Autumn, Ethan (the cowboy who came to camp that week) and I decided to go for a ride, however it was drizzling rain and cold. Now if any one of you knows horses you'll know that they can get kind of um, how do I put this nicely.... agitated when the weather gets like that. This makes them hard to catch, especially if they've already been caught and then let go that day. I was confident however that my horsie loved me enough to let me just walk up to him and put a halter on... was I ever wrong!
I walked out into that field and those horses scattered, I should have used oats, but it was too late. Autumn watched them run from us and called out, "How bout we just use some oats!" I listened to her as I glared at Tango, running with the small herd of horses. His ear flicked towards me and I could tell he thought this was all just a game. Well I set my jaw in determination and narrowed my eyes, "I ain't going to give my horse oats for being an idiot!"
Well I'll tell you we chased those nags around the pasture nigh on five times before we got them into the corral. Halfway through I turned and smiled at Ethan, "Sorry I'm very stubborn." He gave a small smile back but the look in his eyes said to me, "Either stubborn or crazy!"
I would just like to proudly admit that after getting the horses into the corral I got Tango and a few others into the arena and not very long after Tango faced up to me and I was able to put his halter on him. I won, so stubborness does pay off, even if it makes people think you're crazy :)
So whether it was an overtired Jessica using her chaps as wings after a naive Jackson got them off without unbuckling them, or a whole new brand of fun with Jacquie and Lori in the kitchen at night, camp was another great year! I learned a thing or two about myself, about my horse, and about my God. I grew a little, laughed a little, and I can't thank the heavens above enough for the great opportunity! I can't wait for Teen Retreat and camp next year!
It's been a barrel of laughs and blessings from God.
Okay so Week One of Camp- "Denny's Dilemma"
Wind can cause a great many problems for horsemen, especially if they have to work with spooky horses. On of our horses at camp, Denny, was the biggest sweetheart ever. However he could be a wee bit nervous sometimes. One incident we had was the first day of camp we were, I think, saddling horses and Denny was tied to the hitching post (which is now out of order). There was a saddle blanket thrown over it next to him and he was just standing there being the big gentle giant that he always is until a gust of wind blew the saddle blanket off the rail.
The horse went back in fright, pulled on the rope, the rope tightened, Autumn and Jessica calmed him down, and then the difficulty came. He had tightened the knot on the lead rope so tight we couldn't get it off. I pulled on it for a while but I wasn't strong enough to get it undone (I know right? Jessica not strong enough? That's not something you hear everyday). So Autumn gave it a try and tried hanging off of it. She was swinging back and forth on the rope and the knot still wouldn't give (like I thought slip knots were specially designed to come undone easily).
Finally we pulled out the big guns, Jessica would give it a try, and I do believe my exact words were this, "Here Autumn, lemme give it a try, I've got a good thirty pounds on you I'll get it done (or undone) in no time." So there I was, all 155 pounds (of pure muscle I should add:), swinging back and forth on this rope trying to get it to give. With a giggle I quipped, "Look this is when Mr Hawk (our supervisor) drives up." No more than three seconds later he pulls up in his car.
I had just enough time to look back at him when the knot gave out and I went heels over head backwards down the hill. And that's what I call IRONY!
"Shanghai Noon Style"
Now I don't know if any of you guys have seen the movie Shanghai Noon with Jackie Chan and Owen Wilson but there is this one scene where they run and jump on their horses from the back. Well I've been determined for a very long time that I am going to know how to do that some day, and at camp we just happened to have some spare time out at the horses and it seemed to me to be the best time to practice.
I decided it'd be safer for me to just leave Tango untied so I threw the lead rope over his neck and told him to stay (he tried to follow me a few times so I had to get him to stand still). I wasn't really worried about him freaking out or anything, he's pretty bombproof, but you know, a person vaulting themselves onto a horses back could be pretty scary for a horse.
I knew right off the bat that I wouldn't have the vertical to jump high enough to get onto his butt so I got a mounting block and placed it behind him. I patted him on the butt before standing about five feet behind him. Taking a running start I launched myself off the mounting block, bracing my hands on his butt. However for somebody who grew up with athletic sisters I don't have much of a vertical so I didn't get high enough and it didn't help that my horse shot forward. Tango took a couple quick steps forward in surprise and then stopped to look back at me where I was doubled over laughing. He turned his big brown eye to me and lifted his expressive eyebrow as if to ask, "What the heck was that?"
Mr Hawk and Autumn sure got a good laugh but I'm pretty sure as we were all laughing about the episode Tango was thinking, "the least she could have done if she was gonna do something stupid like that was do it right!"
"Either Stubborn or Crazy" - Week Four of Camp.
My philosophy on working with horses? Always complete the job the way you started it. If you decided to only let your horse walk that day, let him do only that, no changing your mind. Which means that if I set out to catch my horse without using oats, I'm gonna do it without oats! This philosophy does mean you have to be stubborn, and when I mean stubborn I mean more stubborn than a mule.
One day Autumn, Ethan (the cowboy who came to camp that week) and I decided to go for a ride, however it was drizzling rain and cold. Now if any one of you knows horses you'll know that they can get kind of um, how do I put this nicely.... agitated when the weather gets like that. This makes them hard to catch, especially if they've already been caught and then let go that day. I was confident however that my horsie loved me enough to let me just walk up to him and put a halter on... was I ever wrong!
I walked out into that field and those horses scattered, I should have used oats, but it was too late. Autumn watched them run from us and called out, "How bout we just use some oats!" I listened to her as I glared at Tango, running with the small herd of horses. His ear flicked towards me and I could tell he thought this was all just a game. Well I set my jaw in determination and narrowed my eyes, "I ain't going to give my horse oats for being an idiot!"
Well I'll tell you we chased those nags around the pasture nigh on five times before we got them into the corral. Halfway through I turned and smiled at Ethan, "Sorry I'm very stubborn." He gave a small smile back but the look in his eyes said to me, "Either stubborn or crazy!"
I would just like to proudly admit that after getting the horses into the corral I got Tango and a few others into the arena and not very long after Tango faced up to me and I was able to put his halter on him. I won, so stubborness does pay off, even if it makes people think you're crazy :)
So whether it was an overtired Jessica using her chaps as wings after a naive Jackson got them off without unbuckling them, or a whole new brand of fun with Jacquie and Lori in the kitchen at night, camp was another great year! I learned a thing or two about myself, about my horse, and about my God. I grew a little, laughed a little, and I can't thank the heavens above enough for the great opportunity! I can't wait for Teen Retreat and camp next year!
It's been a barrel of laughs and blessings from God.
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