They're Male

           A very clever man I know once told me about how he was thinking about writing a book for people who wanted to learn how to move cattle.  He said that he kept trying to simplify it and simplify it, just to make it easier to understand. In the end, he told me, he summed it all up in just a few words, "They're female."
          Now you're probably wondering what this has to do with Tango, the Redneck, but I'm getting around to it. Today we went for a ride, it's been a while since we have, but I saddle him up despite the hot weather and we headed out.  Travelling across the hayfield we let ourselves into the back forty.  Deciding that today would be a good day for something new we went the opposite direction than we usually do.  Tango was a good sport when I urged him to go through the mud, with me on top crossing my fingers and praying that I wouldn't be inspiration for another Corb Lund song, this one titled "The Horse Got Stuck".
         Surviving the mud we continued on around the hill and followed the cow trail.  I was amazed at how steep the hill was but Tango was to distracted to notice, he was on a mission.  We must have been downwind of some interestingly scented object because he set off at a very fast walk.  Cresting a small ridge I spotted what had intrigued his nose, there were cows grazing in the river flat.  Now there is only one thing Tango loves more than oats, I would like to say it's me but sadly no, it's cows.
        The fence came to a corner, with the cows on the other side, we would have to go through a couple gates to get to them.  No matter how much I wanted to go see who's cows they were and no matter how badly Tango was chomping at the bit to go play with his new bovine buddies I decided it wasn't worth the trouble.  I turned him to walk up the hill along the fence but he turned back as soon as I wasn't paying full attention to what he was doing.
         Finally after a few minutes and a lot of determination on my part we made it to the top of the hill and I stopped dead in my tracks (well I guess Tango's tracks).  The hill on the other side fell away to a creek at the bottom.  This part of the creek contained a beaver dam so it go really wide.  Not thinking very clearly I decided to go investigate the water's edge.
         Well we got down there and found there was no way across and because Jessica was in a particular good mood she gave Tango his head when he decided he was gonna go "THAT WAY!!" (you can't see  but I am pointing in a general direction, although it's not really relevant because that wasn't even really the direction we were going in at the time, but I digress).  So he went that way, following a cattle trail throught the gorgeous bushes, just starting to turn color with the cold.  He went this way and that, weaving back and forth back up the hill.  For a while it was okay, the bushes were ankle height or shorter but then we started getting into where there were trees.
            Now I couldn't tell if he was doing it on purpose but he was going under trees with low hanging branches or brushing up against them so that I had to ride with one leg lifted up behind me if I wanted to keep the skin on my knees.  I don't even think Tango knew where we were going, but he seemed determined to go where he wanted to go.  Finally we came out on a slightly wider trail and I could breath again.  I thought Tango would be content to follow the trail for a while but nope, he saw another cow trail and was going towards it with unnerving determination.
            If any of you know me, you'll know that I ain't no pushover so that's where I drew the line. I said "No Tango we are staying on the wide, open trail. It's safer, even if it isn't the most direct route."    
             So he might of been right, that clever man, about cattle and they're female, and I admit we can be a little bit absentminded and exasperating but men aren't all that much better with their tendency to be difficult and determined to make the most direct approach, even if it's the most dangerous.  If I have to sum up riding in two words, as he did so perfectly for working cattle, I would simply say that although the majority are gelded THEY'RE MALE!

Unless you ride a mare, then you don't have to worry. Just have to watch out for the moodswings... right Autumn?

Funny Summer Stories in a Nutshell (not a real nutshell though)

So this summer contained a great many funny moments that I don't believe I could completely recap if I tried but I'll do a few.
Okay so Week One of Camp- "Denny's Dilemma"
            Wind can cause a great many problems for horsemen, especially if they have to work with spooky horses.  On of our horses at camp, Denny, was the biggest sweetheart ever. However he could be a wee bit nervous sometimes.  One incident we had was the first day of camp we were, I think, saddling horses and Denny  was tied to the hitching post (which is now out of order).  There was a saddle blanket thrown over it next to him and he was just standing there being the big gentle giant that he always is until a gust of wind blew the saddle blanket off the rail.
             The horse went back in fright, pulled on the rope, the rope tightened, Autumn and Jessica calmed him down, and then the difficulty came.  He had tightened the knot on the lead rope so tight we couldn't get it off.  I pulled on it for a while but I wasn't strong enough to get it undone (I know right? Jessica not strong enough? That's not something you hear everyday).  So Autumn gave it a try and tried hanging off of it.  She was swinging back and forth on the rope and the knot still wouldn't give (like I thought slip knots were specially designed to come undone easily).
            Finally we pulled out the big guns, Jessica would give it a try, and I do believe my exact words were this, "Here Autumn, lemme give it a try, I've got a good thirty pounds on you I'll get it done (or undone) in no time."  So there I was, all 155 pounds (of pure muscle I should add:), swinging back and forth on this rope trying to get it to give.  With a giggle I quipped, "Look this is when Mr Hawk (our supervisor) drives up."  No more than three seconds later he pulls up in his car.
         I had just enough time to look back at him when the knot gave out and I went heels over head backwards down the hill. And that's what I call IRONY!

                                            "Shanghai Noon Style"
       Now I don't know if any of you guys have seen the movie Shanghai Noon with Jackie Chan and Owen Wilson but there is this one scene where they run and jump on their horses from the back.  Well I've been determined for a very long time that I am going to know how to do that some day, and at camp we just happened to have some spare time out at the horses and it seemed to me to be the best time to practice.
       I decided it'd be safer for me to just leave Tango untied so I threw the lead rope over his neck and told him to stay (he tried to follow me a few times so I had to get him to stand still).  I wasn't really worried about him freaking out or anything, he's pretty bombproof, but you know, a person vaulting themselves onto a horses back could be pretty scary for a horse.
        I knew right off the bat that I wouldn't have the vertical to jump high enough to get onto his butt so I got a mounting block and placed it behind him.  I patted him on the butt before standing about five feet behind him. Taking a running start I launched myself off the mounting block, bracing my hands on his butt.  However for somebody who grew up with athletic sisters I don't have much of a vertical so I didn't get high enough and it didn't help that my horse shot forward.  Tango took a couple quick steps forward in surprise and then stopped to look back at me where I was doubled over laughing. He turned his big brown eye to me and lifted his expressive eyebrow as if to ask, "What the heck was that?"
         Mr Hawk and Autumn sure got a good laugh but I'm pretty sure as we were all laughing about the episode Tango was thinking, "the least she could have done if she was gonna do something stupid like that was do it right!"

                                       "Either Stubborn or Crazy" - Week Four of Camp.

           My philosophy on working with horses? Always complete the job the way you started it. If you decided to only let your horse walk that day, let him do only that, no changing your mind.  Which means that if I set out to catch my horse without using oats, I'm gonna do it without oats!  This philosophy does mean you have to be stubborn, and when I mean stubborn I mean more stubborn than a mule.
           One day Autumn, Ethan (the cowboy who came to camp that week) and I decided to go for a ride, however it was drizzling rain and cold.  Now if any one of you knows horses you'll know that they can get kind of um, how do I put this nicely.... agitated when the weather gets like that. This makes them hard to catch, especially if they've already been caught and then let go that day.  I was confident however that my horsie loved me enough to let me just walk up to him and put a halter on... was I ever wrong!
           I walked out into that field and those horses scattered, I should have used oats, but it was too late. Autumn watched them run from us and called out, "How bout we just use some oats!"  I listened to her as I glared at Tango, running with the small herd of horses. His ear flicked towards me and I could tell he thought this was all just a game.  Well I set my jaw in determination and narrowed my eyes, "I ain't going to give my horse oats for being an idiot!"
            Well I'll tell you we chased those nags around the pasture nigh on five times before we got them into the corral.  Halfway through I turned and smiled at Ethan, "Sorry I'm very stubborn."  He gave a small smile back but the look in his eyes said to me, "Either stubborn or crazy!"
           I would just like to proudly admit that after getting the horses into the corral I got Tango and a few others into the arena and not very long after Tango faced up to me and I was able to put his halter on him. I won, so stubborness does pay off, even if it makes people think you're crazy :)

          So whether it was an overtired Jessica using her chaps as wings after a naive Jackson got them off without unbuckling them, or a whole new brand of fun with Jacquie and Lori in the kitchen at night, camp was another great year! I learned a thing or two about myself, about my horse, and about my God. I grew a little, laughed a little, and I can't thank the heavens above enough for the great opportunity! I can't wait for Teen Retreat and camp next year!

It's been a barrel of laughs and blessings from God.

Up On Top

            I did a few crazy things, one was I bought a horse when I didn't have a horse trailer which means that when I went to take my horse to camp I had to get somebody else to transport him (thanks Papa Bruce) but then when I came home I had to do that or ride him home. That was the second crazy thing I did, I decided to ride my horse home.

            Okay so camp is at Whitney Lake, that's about, roughly, 45 km.  Now a horse can walk about 6 km an hour so I figured it would take eight hours at the least.  Boy was I ever wrong.  I left the camp at about twelve fifteen I'd say and I'm telling you guys right now that proper equipment is important, it may be expensive but it's vital to both you and your horse's safety and more importantly it is vital to your sanity.  I'm telling you this because I do not have a proper set of saddlebags which meant that I had to carry all the things I needed in an old denim bag with one of those straps that you're supposed to wear over your shoulder. Just let me tell you those kinds of bags are a pain in the you know what to carry when you are trying to ride a horse.  And let me suggest another thing, when you are planning out a big ride or hike or anything, being prepared isn't nearly as important as packing lightly.  

             I took a slicker, in case it rained or got cold, a blanket (don't even ask me why it just seemed like a good idea at the time), and a bag full of crap I didn't use.  I hauled an icecream pail and a huge jug of water for almost thirty kms so my horse wouldn't go thirsty and the snob wouldn't drink out of it! So I am grumpy because I am juggling with a whole bunch of useless "things I might need" and I am afraid my horse is going to get dehydrated.  Finally I rigged up a system with the bag, I was lucky I brought an extra lead rope, (rope I believe is one of the most irreplacable pieces of equipment when it comes to horses).
              It was getting to be a long day and I was not enjoying myself as much as I should but it was going better.  Finally when Tango was so tired that he would either plod or lope and if I let him he would stop and argue if I tried to get him to go we came to a part of the road I recognized.  A little farther and I found that we had come to the turn off to go to the Nelsons's farm.
              Earlier this year I had helped the Nelson family with fencing at their farm and I got to hold the cool vaccination thing that looks like a gun at the branding (you bet I felt dangerous!).  Looking at the sun and its position in the sky I could tell that it was nearing five thirty (okay the truth is my sister lent me her phone so I could tell the time and phone Mom if I needed to).  Finally I got to the Nelsons' farmyard and standing in their backyard I phoned my dad up and told him where I was. Then my next phone call was to Barb Nelson.  Now her and her husband are the Nelsons who own the farm where I was sitting on my horse.  I told her that she wouldn't believe where I was and when I told her she laughed and said, "Then perhaps you should stop there for the night."
              So I put him in the corral and left my horse there, with green green grass almost up to his shoulders, he was in heaven.  I went home for the night and had a good nights sleep and the next morning when I got all my stuff together and went out to saddle my horse I found that he was gone.....
HAha no I'm just kidding, he was still there (got you though didn't I?)  So I saddle him up and this time I was smart, I took a cell phone, a rope knife, a lead rope, myself and my horse (and my saddle and all that of course).  But I wasn't going to be carrying anything other than what I absolutely needed.
The rest of the ride was pretty uneventful, we got home to good ol' Marwayne, I was happy to see it was still there by the time I got there, I walked my horse down the sidewalk of mainstreet.  Stopped in at the post office for a quick chat and I grabbed some lunch from the cornerstore and then I walked him home. While I was eating lunch Tango got to stand outside in my backyard and cool off for a while.  I think he tried every single flower in Mom's garden, the strawberry leaves were his favourite though.
              I decided not to ride on from there because my poor Tango's feet were sore and the rest of the ride would be mostly gravel.  Fortunately I have friends who have horse trailers and one of them, Paige Sutherland, was kind enough to come to my house at eleven at night and pick up my horse.  She and her mother were tickled pink when they got out of their truck to see Tango's ears perk up over the fence.

              Even though the majority of my eleven hour, two day, ride was frustrating I realized a lot of things up on top of that horse.  One thing is riding a horse slows everything down for you and puts it all into perspective.  You don't really realize how long a mile is until you walk it on a horse.  You don't realize how good God has been to us when he gave us this earth to live on until you are sitting on top of one of HIS creations viewing all of his creation.  It's no wonder people have a hard time believing God's existence these days, they're too busy speeding by inside their tin cans at 120 kilometers an hour to stop and look at the way a butterfly sits on a blade of grass or admire the hardwork a beaver puts into his home.   So my challenge to you today is look at the world as if you were up on top of a horse and thank God for the world he's allowed us to have.

Sneaking Son of a Gun..... I Can't Help but Love You

              My favourite smells of leather, fresh cut grass and horse hair filled the air.  Birds sang in the background as my perfectly broken in cowboy boots crunched the gravel under my feet.  I was feeling pretty good about myself, as my trusty steed followed me across the road, at least I thought he was following me.....
              I looked back to find he was in the ditch walking away from me. I watched him for a while and kind of giggled when I realized he was doing his best to be stealthy in his escape, stepping lightly through the thick grass. However when he looked back to find me walking after him he did a double take (I am almost a hundred percent sure that the exact thoughts "darn she saw me" went through his head) and started to jog away.
             Tango! Whoa... I yelled after him as he trotted away.  I strode after him and started muttering under my breath as I followed him.... dirty rotten sneaking son of a gun.... He stopped to take a bite of food and almost jumped out of his skin when he saw that I was still behind him.... fat, lazy no good two bit nag..... he stopped at the gate into the pen that his horse buddies lived in then continued on when I tried to get close to him.... jackass.....
            Then he got to the bridge, stopped looked at it, looked at me, looked for a way out, then looked back at me.  I swear the horse sighed as he turned around and started to walk back to me.  The beautiful red roan with a coat like silk and a flaxen mane and the attitude of a smart alecky teenager stopped in front of me and dropped his head.  Scratching him in his favourite spot, right between the ears I thought to myself.... I love my horse.
            
            A little while later as I was riding towards the river I watched as Al ripped out of the driveway in his jeep, across the bridge, and over the hill (haha even though he's already over the hill;) and then back again.  I frowned in confusion as he drove into the yard and then back out again.  It suddenly dawned on me that he was looking for me.  I climbed up a hill and waved down at him before carrying on my way to the river, thinking it was all fine and dandy. However when I walked back into the yard with my horse he came out onto the porch and asked where I'd been.. he'd seen me chasing The Redneck and then when he came out to help me catch him I had disappeared.
           So there you have it, the disappearing girl and horse, we're so talented.  And as for my smart alecky horse he may be a sneaking son of a gun but I can't help but love him to death.

A Wee Bit of Spring Fever....

Today was very interesting... It has been a while since I went riding, despite the warm weather lately. I've been fighting a horrible cold for the last few days and didn't feel up to going out until today.  So I went out there, relishing in the sounds of water dripping and mud squishing under my Ropers.
Tango refused to walk through the gate nicely so I had to bribe him with a bucket of oats.  I would shake it and he'd take a step. It went well for a while until Tango got the bright idea to grab the bucket.  He grabbed one side of the bucket in his teeth, thus commencing a game of tug of war.  Finally I won and he came onto the concrete pad where I groom him.
Shedding Tango out in itself was an interesting endeavour.  You know spring + horses = hair everywhere!  However I was excited because as I was shedding him out more and more Tango's coat is getting whiter, he's going to be sooooo pretty (not that he wasn't pretty before).
Anywho back to the point of our story.  I got him saddled and we went out to the rode.  I decided that now that it was spring it was time to work of the cute little hay gut Tango had developed which means?  If you guessed trotting, trotting and more trotting, then you guessed right.  So we climbed the hill out of the valley onto the gravel/ mud range road.  I'm not sure how far we trotted but he did well with no arguments..... until we turned around to go back.
It took a while for him to realize that we weren't gonna, trot, full tilt back to the barn so he finally settled into a high gear walk.  He started getting fidgety and I didn't understand why.  His head started bobbing and he kept looking back.  Then when I went to adjust my seat in the saddle he jumped and turned really fast.  I put my leg on to turn him back down the road towards home.  I was quite impressed with him though, because he executed the prettiest sidepass I had ever seen.
We got back on track and we were just a little down the laneway when I heard my dad driving up behind me.  Because I was always taught to face a vehicle when on a horse I turned Tango.  He didn't really care about the van and we completed a turn on the haunches.  I thought it was all good but as dad drove off in front of us he went, as my dad said later, "snake".
It all happened quite sure and I'm not sure why it happened. One second I was sitting in the saddle, the next I was in the air and grabbing for the  horn to keep from falling off.  When I realized what he was doing I whirled him around in some tight circles until he put his head down and slowed his walk.  We walked back to the barn and got unsaddled.
It really wasn't that bad of a ride.  However I was puzzled for the better part of the evening after that. Finally I gave up on trying to figure out what had caused Tango to blow his top (it really wasn't that bad).  I guess the official diagnosis is... Spring Fever.  

Follow Me, Everything Will Be Alright.... I think...

You know what I love? Old cowboys. I don't know what I would do without them.  Yesterday I went out to the Randals' to play with my pony and when I got there I had to go in and tell my father (who was doing some technical work for them) that he can't leave without me.  While I was in the house, Al, (the "ol' cowboy" in this story) asked me what I was gonna be doing that day. I just told him that I thought maybe I would put Tango to work hauling some oats with the calf sled from the grain bins, across the yard, to the barn.  It would let me practice working with the rope and Tango got to do something new.
Al, in all his wisdom (and I am NOT being sarcastic (seriously I'm not)) suggested that I make sure Tango was comfortable with me roping off of him, he also reminded me to make sure I did two dallies and kept my thumb up, out of harm's way.
So we got saddled up and I found an old rope and led Tango to the driveway.  I swung it over his head from the ground and ran it over his back end.  He stood there with not a care in the world, except for what the other two horses were doing at the moment. Since he was so relaxed I got up in the saddle and swung the rope a couple of times while he stood there, then I let it drag on the ground as we walked and had it bumping against his legs.  He took it all like the pro that he is. Then it all went downhill from there.
When I got down from Tango to tie the calf sled to my rope a moment of pure genius, and foresight struck me, almost as if God had reached down from heaven and smacked some sense into me.  I realized that it was possible my horse had never seen a calf sled before. Let alone be worried about a rope he may be spooky around things that slid across the ground behind him.  And wouldn't you know it when I brought it out his head shot up from where he was nicely ground tied (meaning his reins weren't fastened but in theory he shouldn't go anywhere, in theory).  He took one look at that "Massey Ferguson" red (more like "OLD Massey Ferguson" red, not that it matters since John Deere is better;) and turned tail and took off at a very determined "I'm getting out of here" plod.
Sighing, I caught him and tried to get him to follow me, thinking to myself that, "Tango trusts me pretty good, he should follow me and everything will be A-O-Kay," or so I thought.  That horse threw his head up in the air and did the prettiest sidepass I ever did see.  All of it, just to get away from that gosh darned sled.
Finally I got him to stand really still beside it.  He stood there and licked his lips and I thought he would be okay with it after that, boy was I wrong.  I took his reins in one hand and the calf sled rope in the other and started walking.  Well Tango swung his royal, red, shedding bulk around me so he could walk with his eye on the "enemy" and his shoulder making a beeline for the furthest point from the "red monster".  He calmed down a little after a while so we stopped and walked around the sled and stood quietly for a while.
It went on for about half an hour until I got an idea, it came so suddenly that I was a hundred and two percent sure that there was a little lightbulb flashing above my cowboy hat (to my disappointment there wasn't).  I thought to myself, "What does Tango love more than me?" and it really isn't as hard a question to answer as I'd like it to be, but the answer is inevitable, "Food, more specifically: oats."
I left Tango where he was, standing calmly with his reins hanging into the sled.  He stood fairly well though and I was proud of him for being such a big boy, but when I got back out of the barn with a buck et full bribes in the bottom, he was standing at the door, waiting for me. I guess the sled was just too scary for him to stay with.
We walked back to the sled and I placed the oats in the bottom.  Tango, who had been following the bucket, stopped dead in his tracks. He looked at me and I could have sworn that horse raised an eyebrow in suspicion.  With a wicked grin I picked up the rope and started walking, dragging the sled behind me.  Tango put his head down and inched forward after me, when he got close to the sled I would stop, and he'd find that scary so he'd back up.  I'd start walking again and he'd continue to follow me.  Finally he put his nose into the sled to reach for the oats and I stopped.  I let him munch for a  while before walking again, and he followed.  Finally I stopped and dropped the rope.
Swinging one arm over his neck I gave Tango a good scratch along the edge of his mane.  He munched and licked his lips, and thought about what was going on.  Then when he was done he turned to the lariat in the bottom of the sled and nuzzled it, then grabbed the end and picked it up.  He stood there, holding it in his mouth, then he saw some deer on the road so he dropped the rope and watched them for a while.
With a cheek splitting grin I picked up Tango's reins and led him back to the barn, he had done good enough for the time being, and I had learned a new lesson, next time I thought everything was going to be all alright I needed to talk to an "ol' cowboy" and think on it a little more.

Here, There, and EveryWhere.

I'll tell you all one thing thats for certain, it was cold out today.  However I really needed to go for a ride so I bundled up in a toque, scarf, chaps, and warm coat.  I hurriedly saddled up Tango, bracing myself against the cold wind.  I had felt a moment of guilt when we drove up and found him by himself backed into the horse shelter, he wasn't a big fan of the wind.  However he was my horse and I selfishly wanted to go for a ride.
Ready to ride I bailed on and headed for the field. However once we got there I discovered it hadn't been a very wise move on my part.  The wind had blown the top layer of snow till it had formed a thin layer of ice.  When it was broken it could be proven to be pretty sharp. I thought once or twice about turning back, and that's all Tango was thinking about. But I had set out to go for a ride in that field and I wasn't going to let him think that he could turn around just because he wanted to.
So I did something, that I believe every horse person should know how to do, I made a compromise.  I decided I would go to where the fence turned a slight corner, not even the length of half the field, and then I would let Tango turn around.
We were trotting back up the little road to the barn (I know its not a good idea to let horses hurry towards their home however I was feeling a little dangerous today) when I saw my mom's van.  Wanting to know why she was back so early I kissed Tango into a lope and discovered I had a bit of a problem.
One of my stirrups was a little too long so my balance was thrown off.  This along with the fact that I have never really been good at loping in a straight line made the ride a little bit uncomfortable.  My legs were flailing here, there, and everywhere and I felt like I was about to pop out of the saddle and land on the ground where my horse had been just a few moments before.
Finally I achieved enough balance to sit down in the saddle and get Tango to stop without having to reef on his face (I really do hate pulling on my horse's mouth).  He stopped and I got off to fix the stirrup.  Once it was fixed I quickly baled back on, applied slight pressure with my leg and enjoyed a rollback that any cowgirl would be proud of.  Then we were off again.  Once I reached the end of the lane by the grain bins I said whoa and to my surprise, and slight horror Tango had found himself a patch of ice and slid for a couple of feet before finding enough traction to complete stop.
After he had steadied himself he very enthusiastically executed another roll back only to put his head down and race back towards the barn. He was maybe a bit too happy to be going back to the barn for my taste so I slowed him down a bit and then eased him into a perky trot. After a few circles he was happy to stand.
Exhilerated and only slightly numb from the cold I hopped off.  Since we were just a little ways from the barn door I pulled the saddle right off, threw it over my shoulder and told Tango to follow me.  He waited patiently while I put the saddle away.  Coming back out I took his headstall off and opened the gate for him.  "Okay Tango off you go." I told him, expecting him to be pushing past me to get back to his shelter, protected from the bitter wind.  But nooooo, what does that smart alecky horse do? He reaches out, grabs the gate in his lips and swings it shut.
Well I laughed, I was surprised that he wanted to stay with me, even go for a longer ride.  With a smile I lovingly stroked his neck before wrapping his reins around it and leading him back into his pen.  I gave him a few sugar cubes which he enjoyed immensely.  He licked his lips in pleasure and I rolled my eyes after he nodded a yes to my question of whether or not he liked them.  Sometimes I swear that horse can understand me.
So I just gotta say a big THANK YOU to Paige and her Papa Bruce for giving me the best horse I could ask for, a horse with a big ol' attitude to match mine. :)